It’s nights like this where I can feel the nostalgia bubbling up inside me. I’ve picked up and set down my phone so much tonight, always with the intention of making amends, but pride always gets the best of me. I’m missing the people and things that weren’t good for me. I burnt these bridges intentionally, but I think I just let the memories get the best of me tonight.
I spend the night contemplating why I’m holding on so hard. There was more bad than good. I know it’s because when something happens and the first person I want to tell isn’t around anymore it cuts into me deeper every time.
I have to move. There’s nothing left for me. There is no prospect of a new job or even new friends here. I work ten to twelve hour days to keep myself busy. I have nothing to focus on except the past, but once I leave, I have full faith that I’ll move on with ease. I just need a fresh start.
Posted 9 months ago with Notes